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I'll Tell You No Lies (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

TITLE: I'll Tell You No Lies
FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
AU: The Secret Lives of Superheroes
LENGTH/RATING: 299 words, PG
SUMMARY: Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies... (Exit, Stage Left)


"H'lo?"

Wesley stared at the caller id on the phone in bleary-eyed confusion, Who the hell? It was four in the morning, which meant too early for Gunn and too late for Angel.

"Is there? Anyone? Hullllllllo?"

Who ever it was, they were very very drunk.

"I c'n hear you breathe y'know." The voice sounded almost bemused and it finally occurred to Wesley who was on the other end of the line.

"Xander, it's four in the morning."

"I know."

"Then why did you call me?"

"Wil'o gave me cellphone."

"And?" Because if there wasn't an 'and' he was going back to sleep. Preferably without moving another inch. In fact, if he just put the phone down Xander might not notice--

"Wha'did Spike havin the van?"

There was a long pause, where Wesley hoped desperately that Xander would get distracted by fireflies, or shooting stars, or whatever the hell there was to get distracted by at four in the morning.

"Wessssssssssssssssley. Van, whas in the vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Isit demon?"

"Yes Xander, it's a demon." Because he was much, much too tired to think of a more rational lie.

"Isit purple?"

"Sure, purple, with green polkadots even, can you please, please just go back to sleep?"

There was a moment of dead silence and then a shocked whisper, "ohmygod, you kidnapped Barney."

Wesley unplugged the phone and went back to sleep.

_______________________________

"BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER" is owned, (TM) and © by Twentieth Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB Network. All rights reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.

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Comments

*now has tears pouring down face from not laughing out loud*

I love you.

You win icons.

:-) xx
Hehehehehe ^_^ Fear Da SillyMuse! ^_^ *snicker* Okay, yeah, I apparently need to go to sleep now. ^_~ Hehehehe
*snorts something loose*

This boy should so not be allowed to drink.....
Considering the poor thing has just survived a Trial By Buffy, I think he can be allowed a beer, or twelve. This is why normal people shouldn't go victory drinking with Slayers. Hehehe ^_~ *evil grin*
Or at least kept away from cell phones when he does. *hee hee* Good addition to the 'verse.
Into every 'verse a little SillyFic must fall! ^_~ *grin* Glad you liked it!
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December 2010

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